Wassup 'G'nomes

When we moved into our 1st house, i found a couple of dead garden gnomes. My wife wanted them to stay that way, 6 feet under would have sufficed.

Alas even as a young boy i would rescue worms trapped going the wrong way on the footpath. You know...they are the ones you step over knowing they are going to end up shrivelled up husks of...(breaks off crying)

So i carefully sequestered said gnomes to my parents place where restoration began. I haven't got a before picture unfortunately but they had no paint left on them and were half buried in dirt.

I did a little research on gnomes so i was armed with great explanations should my wife want to kill my resurrected friends.

Here's my top 7 things to know about gnomes:

1. Gnomes are a mythical legendary race endowed with exceptional vision and heightened awareness; their task is to provide assistance to all living things; gnomes symbolise integrity, honesty and hard work.




2. Originating in Germany in the mid 1800's there are estimated to be over 25,000,000 gnomes in Germany alone.




3. A phenomenon known as 'gnoming' exists where people 'return garden gnomes to the wild'. Some kidnapped gnomes have literally travelled all around the world and is the basis for Travelocity's 'Roaming Gnome' - anyone watch The Amazing Race??




4. 'Lampy' the only surviving gnome from the original batch brought back to England in 1847 is insured for One Million Pounds!




5. Gnomes have a life expectancy of 400 years.




6. Male gnomes can be easily identified by their red caps.




7. Gnomes and children under five are banned from the Royal Horticulture Society Chelsea Flower Show.

You may have noticed in point number 1 that the word mythical appears in italics...wassup wit dat you ask? Check out the gnome sighting in Argentina (below) you decide.